I have been wanting to write about my Dad for a bit, but I haven't. I haven't really written anything for a while. I guess you noticed that.
Sometimes I have been just sitting around on my butt. Lack of motivation. When the kids are occupied I just sit.
Sometimes I am in over my head. Busy with stuff. Work, Christmas, chores. You know there is always something to do.
Sometimes I have been too tired. I started a new medication a while ago that makes me exhausted, so it has been hard for me to keep up with the regular tasks, let alone sitting quietly and thinking and writing those thoughts out.
But enough with excuses and back to my sweet Dad who turned 65 yesterday.
He doesn't really know we are visiting him, or who we are if we do. But I still miss him when I can't get over there to say hello. There are many things to lament about the horrible villain we call Alzheimer's Disease. Like how he will never call my kids by name, or watch them play soccer and teach them about positioning. He will never paint another picture or carve a rustic figure again. Or the torture caused by his own mind as he hallucinates terrible things. But those are things that are and can't be changed.
I am thankful he was a great Dad, coming to every soccer game, explaining how things worked, delighting in my quirky uniqueness and that of my sister. He was gentle and loving, he helped with homework and drove for school field trips. He did my hair while we watched Hockey Night in Canada. I remember him very fondly when my son asks me how the TV works and when we are setting up the Christmas tree. He was a good Dad and I am thankful to have had him to love me and set me an example. Happy Birthday Dad!
As an aside, L is next to me and keeps saying "Bapa!" every time she sees his picture!