Yes. I love teaching breastfeeding, I love helping families get to know their baby. I love cuddling cuties, hearing their names spoken out loud for the first time. Seeing parents meet their child and enjoy that moment. There is fun to be had at my job.
But no. Some babies are terribly sick. Some babies are born withdrawing from substances in ways that would make you cringe. There is suffering among babies too.
And parents. Watching your child suffer, struggle with each breath. Having tubes and wires on a precious new bundle. Hearing the news that this baby will have long term issues, that it won't be the healthy child you dreamed of.
Sometimes it is pain. Sometimes it is tears. Sometimes it is unimaginable wailing for an ache in a mother's heart that won't go away. Not really. Not completely.
That was today. I was sort of on the edge of the tragedy today. Spared a bit I guess because I have been on the receiving end of more than a bit of pain lately.
But it wasn't the first time I have had to stop the adrenaline from pumping. It is all over now. There is no more that can be done. I am so sorry we did our best but...
Sometimes it's not fun. Sometimes it's not warm cuddles. Sometimes they don't go home.
Every time I encounter an incident like this I try hard to think it through and deal with it. Because you know what? They keep happening.
I have chosen a job where I walk with people through their pain. Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn. I have chosen to be the one who is yelled at, cried at, who sees the parents collapse into each other like their bones were just taken away and there is no way they could stand. I choose that again today. I choose to absorb a small part of this pain because I know this pain is not going to be forever.
Psalm 30:5 says Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes with the morning. Not tomorrow. But maybe one day when He wipes every tear from every eye. Amen, come Lord Jesus.